How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
