so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
