how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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