She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize