Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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