oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
