Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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