There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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