just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
