I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
