Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize