peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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