Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he's gonorrhea incarnate
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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