A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
