So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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