we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize