____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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