White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize