You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
