so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
