You can't motorboat a personality
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
