Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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