The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize