Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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