will power is for people who don't want to get laid
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
