I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
