My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
