On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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