How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
