i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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