your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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