margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
