just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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