Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
