your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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