Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
