why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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