Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize