he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
