I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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