the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
