You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
