Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
