We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
