my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
