of course. lets lasso hookers.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
