Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
