"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
