the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
