I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
