perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
