i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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