i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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