I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
