ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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