:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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