I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
