pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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