fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
